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Recovering When You Have Lost Your Way – Part 3

“The following blog post is an excerpt from a new book by Errol Lawson called “The 5 Core Abilities of Highly Effective Leaders”. Errol is a business coach, best-selling author and youth pastor. The book is written primarily for the Christian community but readers from all beliefs can gain great insights from his writings.”




What do you do when the obstacle to your vision isn’t just insecurity or discouragement, but heartbreak?


For Dr. Ellison, Christmas time has always been a time of painful memories. “My dad left our family on 38 Christmas Eve,” she said. “I was just seven years old, and a seven year old doesn’t understand why Daddy has to leave on Christmas Eve, of all days. I pleaded, ‘Please don’t go,’ but no matter how much begging I did, he walked away. I grew up with bitterness and unforgiveness. I was raised in a loving home by a mom who has always taught us to love and forgive. I just wasn’t ready.”


But as she grew older and was convicted to coach others, Dr. Ellison realised that this bitterness was hampering her vision. As she said: “I had to take the first step and forgive my dad.” So Dr. Ellison surprised her father at his seventieth birthday party. He embraced her, and together they began to rebuild their relationship. “I gave myself permission to open that door again and dislodge the root of bitterness, so that I could coach more effectively,” Dr. Ellison said. “In turn, that has brought so many people on board whose fathers or spouses have also left. They ask me, ‘How can I use my pain for a purpose?


Ephesians 4:31-32
“Get rid of all bitterness, passion, and anger. No more shouting or insults, no more hateful feelings of any sort. Instead, be kind and tender-hearted to one another, and forgive one another, as God has forgiven you through Christ.”


Over the years, that phrase—“using pain for a purpose”—has become one of Dr. Ellison’s favourite encouragements. This can be incredibly demanding task, but tragedy and pain are inevitable parts of life. As leaders, we need to find ways to push through discouragement and doubt, and keep doing what we’re called to do even in the midst of turmoil. One of the best ways to do that is to use that pain to inspire others. Somewhere out there is a person who is dealing with exactly the problems you’ve dealt with. Whether your setback is the death of a loved one, a period of depression, or a difficult illness, you can find someone who has gone through the same.


Dr. Ellison agreed that hearing directly from God is the only way to experience true spiritual rejuvenation. “Everything needs to be based in prayer,” she said. “Ask God to help you process this pain first. You will become more effective if you heal first. As you’re in that process, it doesn’t mean you need to be perfect when you come out.” There is no shame in asking others for help along this journey as well. All in all, it’s important to remember that God is not in the “storms” and “earthquakes” of our lives. He is not orchestrating the calamities that we face. Instead, God can be found in the still and quiet voice that offers us hope and encouragement for the future. Remember the passion that you had for your calling when it was first given to you, and you’ll find the strength to carry on even when you feel lost.


As a review, here are some of the main objectives we talked about in this chapter:

• Focus on caring for others rather than dwelling on your own problems
• Look for tangible, practical ways to build other people up
• Reframe your mentality to focus on positive, uplifting thoughts
• Use your pain to find common ground with others and to encourage them
• Always lean on God for comfort and strength!


Romans 8:28
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”


#ErrolLawson #Book #5Keys #Birmingham #Leadership #Coaching
#Entrepreneurship #Speaking


For the full text, get your copy of The 5 core Abilities of Highly Effective Leaders. It’s now available on Amazon


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